Captain Bitters Sails the Fleas

me name one day me me taught her how me gave a sight and as me hauled the anchor, me felt a line was tuggin' on me name is Caen bitters mummy Joe

A hand-drawn blue-hatted sailor tells a long pirate-style song about Captain Bitters sailing fleas around the world. He teaches a small flea to sail, discovers her miserable family situation, and invites her mother and father aboard. The joke is the absurdly dramatic nautical ballad about tiny fleas and their unconventional family.

My name is Captain Bitter's and me sails the Royal Flea. Sailing dogs from where they live to where they'd like to be. Me sails them to volcanoes, me sails them to the zoo, and then me sails them home again before their sufferers do. One day me picked a mangy mutt down by the Bloomin' Coast. Her name was Itzy B, and she weighed less than a note. Me asked her where she'd like to go aboard the Royal Flea. She said all that I'd like to do is sail the open seas. Me taught her how to feel the wind and how the tides behave, And how to jive and come about and give the girls away. She grew her sea legs quick and had a swagger can't be bought. And wasn't long for itsy b could tie a bowlin nut. Me gave a sight and saw the sun was sinkin' off the lo. We sailed into the little cove that itsy b called home. She gave a wee farewell and laid off with her head hung low. Me knew for sure that itsy b was sad she had to go. As we hold the anchor, we chance look back once more. And what we saw was something that no cappin could ignore. For itsy b was livin' in an itsy bitsy hovel, and her mother was a buoy, and her dad awashed up on her. Me felt a line was tuggin' on me rattin' Capon's heart. Me held her name with all me might and gave her quite a start, if you'd like to keep on sailin' while the fleas got room for you. And bring your crusty mother and your drunken father too. Me name is Capon bitters, her name is itsy b, and we sail dolls from where they live to where they'd like to be. We sail them to volcanoes, we sail them to the zoo, and then we sail them home again before their sufferings do. Then...

• @rzeczyzabawne / 22877 2026-06-07