Four Types of Programmers

Imperative stoneager • Uses sed, awk, grep... on a daily basis • 3 character long variable names • “OOP is literally pointless” • Never bases Python or Javascript, proudly uses them to make elitists seethe • Wrote 95% of all programs that power the modern world • Doesn’t care what OS or editor he uses • His main machine happens to be a 2013 MacBook Air he got as a gift • Writes his own software Functional elitist • Watches Counterstrike, thinks it’s actual programming • “Monad good” • “Lazy evaluation good” • “Loop bad” • “Mutate bad” • “Imperative not elegant” • Writes code on paper to avoid side effects • Responsible for 0% lines of code in production • Uses Emacs with a Light theme on an old Debian machine • Uses software written by imperative stoneager OOP boilerplate • His job consists of writing the same boilerplate code every single day and he LOVES it • Watches Bob Martin, thinks the guy is a genius • His variable names consist of at least 5 whole words • “Oh, I need an object for this piece of data, let me make a class” • Inserts unnecessary semicolons all the time but not proper in the world • Responsible for 5% of all lines of code in the world • Uses Beginners IDEs on Windows • Uses bloated proprietary software Safety-obsessed newager • “Rust will replace C and C++” • Always includes a safety section in his documentation • “Here is this awesome PR, bro, it replaces your unsafe code with safe code” • No support for macOS, but writes an entire page of documentation on how to hack an installation on Windows • Best he’s ever accomplished is writing a colored version of cat • Uses Neovim with Gruvbox color scheme on Arch Linux • Mechanical keyboard, 34 inch monitor, 20 screenshots, if you can’t see too bad

Мем показывает четыре карикатурных типа программистов: императивного «старожила», функционального элитиста, поклонника объектно-ориентированного программирования и одержимого безопасностью новичка. Шутка высмеивает типичные программистские стереотипы, войны языков и инструментов, а также несоответствие между громкими убеждениями и реальным вкладом в код. Такой мем отправляют в обсуждениях программирования, чтобы иронично классифицировать коллег или спорщиков. EN: The meme shows four caricatured types of programmers: an imperative old-timer, a functional elitist, an object-oriented programming enthusiast, and a safety-obsessed newcomer. The joke mocks common programmer stereotypes, language and tooling wars, and the mismatch between loud opinions and actual contributions to code. People share it in programming discussions to ironically classify coworkers or debaters.

• @eternalclassic / 43327 2023-12-15
• @ithueti / 11222 2023-12-15