Tungsten Cube Interdimensional Prison

★★★★★ The tungsten cube I purchased turned out to be a interdimensional prison. Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2023 When the cube arrived, I set it on the floor and burned some incense, as I do. Anyway, the cube began floating in the air. "Slick," I thought, sipping from a bottle given to me by a man living in the local sewers. The cube began to shudder and shake, filling the room with the glorious light of Allah. Then, the light turned to an unusual shade of turquoise, and a dark humanoid with wings slithered out. He offered to take me to the eternal abyss where I could live out the rest of my mortal existence with the farmers that Stalin executed. I thanked him, and told him to come back later because I'm not ready to go (I haven't paid my mortgage). He cursed me for keeping him in his banishment, and now the cube sits on my desk. It's still turquoise. Images in this review

A product review shows a glowing turquoise tungsten cube alongside an absurd horror story about an interdimensional prison, a winged humanoid, Allah’s light, and Stalin’s executed farmers. The punchline is that the reviewer refuses to enter the eternal abyss because he has not paid his mortgage, leaving the cursed cube on his desk. It is used as a reaction to bizarre supernatural situations or dramatically overexplained everyday problems.

• @eternalclassic / 38585 2023-09-11