Wild West History Be Like

Wild West history be like >Ball-Stabbing Emmanuel McCoy the Angelenidez County Skullfucker rode into the town of Deepthroat Gulch hoping to sell a rabbit he caught >On his way into the saloon he tracked mud over the favored smoking spot of Half-Chinese Jesus Smith the Commanche-Raping Dandy of Dryball Basin, prompting the latter to challenge McCoy to a duel at three nanoseconds past dawn on the 2nd Tuesday of the week (as was local custom) >The two gunslingers met at the agreed upon hour in the famous Pissdrinker Alley. McCoy, who lost both his arms serving as a barber in the eleventh Hunkpapa Rebellion of 1888 had to shoot his piece by affixing it to his dick >McCoy was shot in the toe and died of syphilis in the next minute. >The victorious Smith would go on to enter American myth

A deliberately absurd imageboard-style “Wild West history” post invents increasingly obscene names, places, customs, and historical events before abruptly ending with McCoy being shot in the toe and dying of syphilis. The clip then cuts to a bizarre yellow robot in a recording booth, apparently reacting through music, wailing, moaning, laughter, and gasps; the dramatic audio makes the ridiculous fake history feel like an overblown tragic performance.

Balls stabbing Emmanuel McCoy the angle in a death's County skull fucker rode into the town deep throat guts Open the cell the rabbit he caught On his way into the saloon he tracked mud over the favored smoking spot of half Chinese Hazel Smith the command she raping dandy her dry ball basin prompting the latter to challenge McCoy to a duel at 3 nanoseconds past dawn on the second Tuesday of the week, as was local custom. The two gunslingers met at the agreed-upon hour in the famous Pissed Drinker Alley. McCoy, who lost both his arms serving as a barber in the 11th Hongpapa Rebellion of 1888, had to shoot his piece by fixing it to his dick. The oil was shot in the toe and died of syphilis in the next minute. The Victoria Smith would go on to enter American myth by single-handedly raping the entire Erequal Tribe in 1896 the following year. Half-Chinese, Hazer Smith. The Commander your rape and dandy.

• @dustinthehead / 15514 2023-08-02