Job Interview Diversity Checklist

Trying to get a job in 2023 be like... I know Oh I have a the most identical You're hired.

A job applicant sits through an interview while the interviewer dismisses his qualifications and eagerly celebrates various identity characteristics. The joke mocks performative diversity hiring by revealing that the candidate is hired only after mentioning that his father works there.

I know I could really use the job. Now if you look at my past experience in qualification... Let me just stop you right there. Please, let's keep it to relevant topics only. What's your gender? Male. Oh! Rats. Ethnicity. White. Damn it! You sure you don't have any indigenous in there? Little tan? Nothing? No, just white. Well, we tried, right? Thanks for coming in. Um... I'm gay. What did you just say? I'm attracted to men. Go on. I have a disability. ADHD! That's amazing! And I'm half Muslim! Don't stop! And I'm actually Jamaican! Big up, man! Yes! And I'm Hiday! And I'm poor! What? I grew up poor? Unfortunately, this isn't going to work out. What? Isn't that the most significant underprivileged characteristic? We want people who appear ethnically diverse, but come from upper-class backgrounds. That way it gives the appearance of progress, even though they have identical social economic backgrounds as us. Oh. Ah. Next! My dad works here. You're hired.

• @jemalloc / 1352 2023-11-02