Medieval Insults for Every Class

goblins will see you teleport and say "he can't afford a steed" wizards will see you sneak through the valley of shadows and say "he hath not the arcane might to cast invisibility" peasants will see your subjects swear fealty to you and say "forsooth! he be a tyrant!" lords will see you marry a comely lass and say "he has secured no alliances" mercenaries will see you lay down your life for king and country and say "he lacketh the skill to freeboot" landlubbers will witness ye board their schooner with cutlass and flintlock in hand and say "he bears no letter of marque from his majesty's government" pirates will see you deposit money in a bank and say "that scallywag has no treasure to be buryin"

A rapid fantasy-themed montage shows goblins, wizards, peasants, lords, mercenaries, landlubbers, and pirates judging the same kind of person through their own social or occupational worldview. Each group interprets an impressive or sensible action as proof of an embarrassing lack: poverty, weak magic, tyranny, poor alliances, bad piracy, unlawful privateering, or no buried treasure. The exaggerated archaic language and jaunty bagpipe-like music make the escalating accusations absurd and work as a reaction video for someone being humorously mocked for failing to meet a group's standards.

• @eternalclassic / 48542 2024-03-28
• @eternalclassic / 48661 2024-03-30