Stop Doing Agile Scrum Meme

STOP DOING AGILE • REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS • YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster • “In order to reduce process we add more process” — statement dreamed up by the UTTERLY DERANGED • POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL • T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT • “Points represent complexity, not time” YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK?? • People who want to “BURN DOWN” belongs in JAIL not run software teams • Same goes for people doing GROOMING This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters: Planning Work ACTUAL IDEAL ??? Start: 50 points Done: 70 points Remaining: 100 points ???? They have played us for absolute fools

The image is a satirical anti-Agile rant listing contradictions in Scrum practices, including changing requirements, story-point estimation, poker planning, burn-down charts, and backlog grooming. The charts show a chaotic “actual” progress line, a tiny planning slice beside a huge work slice, and impossible point totals, mocking Scrum masters who use process-heavy rituals while claiming to improve productivity. It is shared as a reaction to frustrating software-development management and Agile bureaucracy.

• @ithueti / 11700 2024-01-31
• @gentoomemes / 17136 2025-05-03